Christmas Gift Suggestions

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect" (Oren Arnold).

"Let me give forgiveness to my enemies"--who are they? There are some people towards whom I have unkind thoughts and find forgiveness difficult, people who have hurt me so deeply that I wonder if the wounds will ever fully heal. I haven't forgiven them yet, but I want to. Does that count for something? Is it a start, at least, to want to forgive someone? How does one make the leap from a desire to forgive to actually forgiving?

"To an opponent, tolerance." Tolerance and love to the opponent, yes, but not necessarily tolerance of the opponent's actions. This is something where I believe that my experience in the social services field has helped me. I have learned to separate a person's actions and behaviors from the intrinsic worth of that person. The people who needed my love and compassion the most were the ones to whom it was sometimes hardest to give it, the ones who did not want it, or the ones who felt they did not deserve it. I learned to be clear and direct with people, to let them know that I loved and cared for them, but their actions were unacceptable.

"To a friend, your heart." Well, that's easy. My friends do have my heart. Do they have my heart in more than words and thoughts? Do they know I love them? Do I put the thoughts and feelings into actions? I think so, although there's always room for improvement.

"To a customer, service." Do I deliver? No, not always. Not even most of the time. At work, for example, I'm temping as a clerk, and the work is extremely easy and painfully tedious. I work fast and accurately, and they're impressed. I'm aware, though, that I could do better. I know the times that I slack off in an attempt to stretch out a small amount of work through the day. At home, I don't deliver the service to my family that is needed. I get home tired and don't make the effort to get things cleaned up. Yes, I have much to work on in this area.

"To all, charity." I'm finding this quite a painful exercise. I think that I have charity in my heart, but I do not exercise or show charity nearly as often as I could. I don't like to talk about ways that I serve others, because I like to keep it a secret. I will just say that I could do more than I have chosen to do.

"To every child, a good example." Yes, and no. I love children, and they seem to sense it. I have a gift for reaching children, and it is a gift that I enjoy immeasurably. But when I let myself stay home from church on Sunday because I don't want to face someone who has hurt me, I'm not showing a good example. I'm hoping to start teaching within the next 8 or 9 months, and have started trying to lose weight in part so that I can show a good example for my students.

"To yourself, respect." Do I respect myself? Well, when I look at my shortcomings and see how many ways I fall short of my ideals, the answer has to be no. Do I respect myself as a child of heavenly parents? I believe I do.

As I've gone through these thoughts and explored my attitudes and beliefs, it seems to me that all of this can be boiled down into one word: integrity. Are my attitudes and beliefs in harmony with my actions? If they are not, then I have much work to do. That doesn't mean that I have to punish myself or hate myself (see the preceding paragraph), but it does mean that I have to either accept mediocrity or strive for excellence. I'd rather keep reaching higher and higher, than settle for something less.

So here's to reaching!